Oh yeah, I don't write about ricecakes anymore.

I gave up on ricecakes a long time ago. No regrets. I have another blog that I actually update on occasion and care about a lot more than this one. It's called "Blinking Lights and Other Revelations."

Thanks for reading. It was fun in the beginning, but microwaved ricecakes are really gross.

#16 - Lightweight Pizza

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I know it's been a while. Thank you for your patience, dear readers, but I make no apologies. I was very, very busy for a couple of weeks, and out of town for a bit, and I have spent the last week or so playing catch-up. I guess I felt like this blog was a comparatively low priority. And then, of course, the farther away from it I got, the less I thought about it. But I knew, yesterday, when I voluntarily ate a ricecake, plain, as a snack, that it was time to get back at this.

Lightweight Pizza was very odd. In fact, I'm not convinced that there weren't a number of mistakes made at the printer's. I think, for example, that I may have repeated instructions that weren't meant to have been repeated. But I wasn't going to complain about or question too thoroughly a ricecake recipe that does not utilize a ricecake as its base!

The base in this instance was sliced mushrooms, and on top of those were onions, mozzerella cheese, both green and red peppers, pizza spices, pepperoni, salami, green olives, and ricecake pieces! I actually think more meals like this should exist: just a plate full of good stuff. I've never been a big fan of bread, or pizza crust, or crackers; I've always just viewed these things as flat, edible surfaces to put good stuff on. Much like ricecakes.

I think I also enjoyed this one because the vegetables were actually kind of cooked rather than just being heated.

I should mention that I'm using flavoured ricecakes now! I bought the cheese flavoured kind. I told myself that I'd make it through the first few recipes without being too deviant, but I figure it's okay to experiement a little, having fifteen recipes under my belt.

Thanks again, patient readers. It's good to be back.

#15 - Rice Crisp

I made Rice Crisp last night, but I'm just getting around to writing about it now. I figured that two was one too many entries for one day. I remember it well, though, unfortunately.

The second best part about Rice Crisp is that it is very simple to make, but I have no idea why you would want to. It's weird, and way too sweet. The first best part about Rice Crisp is that it involves marshmallow fluff. I don't mean for it to sound like I think marshmallow fluff is a good thing, because I certainly do not. I know I sounded pretty pro-fluff back in January, but I'm attributing that to not having understood the product at all, and in anticipation of the worst taste ever, its actual taste was a pleasant surprise. If you recall, I got very excited about how it reminded me of being a kid (because it tasted like meringue). Well, I'll take this opportunity to let you know that boiled brussels sprouts and frozen fish sticks also remind me of being a kid. (This wasn't that bad, though!) Anyway, the marshmallow fluff's inclusion was the best part of this recipe because the jar got that much closer to being emptied.

So I stirred a bunch of Rice Krispies into some marshmallow fluff. Well, not really Rice Krispies, like the recipe called for, but the no-name brand knock off. They didn't seem inferior, but it's been years since I've eaten Rice Krispies, so don't take my word for it. Then I spread this chunky, crispy, messy goo onto a ricecake, and I ate it.

I did eat the whole thing, but it wasn't enjoyable. It was just way too sweet. And rice krispies on a ricecake?! That's a lot of rice. I have to wonder how Janet came up with this one. Thumbs down.

#14 - Broccoli Flowerette

This one was not very good, because microwaved ricecakes are never very good. That's right, I spent Valentine's Day eating a not very good ricecake recipe, alone. My cat wouldn't even go near it.

The most interesting thing about the recipe is that Janet specifies that either Montery Jack or Gouda cheese be used. I bought gouda cheese. I even bought the "spiced" kind, though I totally wasn't paying attention when I purchased it and neglected to notice that the spices used are caraway seeds, which I really can't stand. Thankfully, they weren't too overpowering.

I also may have erred by microwaving this until definitely melted, as opposed to melting, as instructed.

Broccoli's tasty any which way though, in my books. I was fine with it being uncooked.

Recipe 14 on the 14th. Is that lucky?

#13 - Apple Cinnamon

It's still February, and as you can see, I'm still moving slowly. But I bought a lot of groceries today, and I'm not as angry at ricecakes as I was earlier in the month. Especially after this one! Another winner!

My friend Kathleen came over for a couple of hours this afternoon/evening, which was lovely, and our last chance to spend some time together before she moves to Montreal next week. I think she was hesitant to try a ricecake recipe, but I think a lot of that hesitancy came from her assumption that I was going to make her eat marshmallow fluff. (There's another marshmallow fluff recipe coming up, faithful readers! So I'm glad I didn't get rid of the remainder of the jar.)

No marshmallow fluff. Instead, we ate something comprised of all kinds of delicious ingredients. Check it out: apple slices, cream cheese, cinnamon, walnuts, yogurt, and shredded coconut. I'm not a huge fan of shredded coconut, but it's okay. I'm a pretty big fan of everything else!

The best part about this recipe is that Janet offers her readers a few choices. The first instruction is to spread either cream cheese or cinnamon spread onto each rice cake. I've never even heard of cinnamon spread. I can imagine it, but I don't believe it really exists ready-made. I sprinkled cinnamon on the cream cheese, and that worked out. This choice does make me wonder about her decision to call this recipe "Apple Cinnamon," though. It would hardly have lived up to its name if I had simply decided on plain old cream cheese, without the cinnamon. And her last instruction is to "Top with your favourite yogurt!" I didn't really use my favourite. I'm not a yogurt connoisseur by any stretch; I hardly ever buy the stuff. The stand in for "my favourite yogurt" was Yoplait Source brand, raspberry flavour, because it was on sale at Sobey's. But, by far, the best part of this recipe is the following line: "Eat as is or heated in the microwave for 40-60 seconds on HI or until heated through." I ate as is!

It was delicious, and I think you can tell that Kathleen thought so too!

#12 - Ham & Celery Munch

Oh I know, I've been terrible at keeping up with this. I guess surpassing my 10-recipe-quota for the month of January made me a bit cocky. February's such a short month, I'm already almost a quarter of the way through it, and this is my first entry! I'm going to try to keep on top of this. February just sucks so much, with the brutal cold and the short days, it's hard to get excited about eating food I always anticipate hating on top of all that. Maybe I'll stick to really simple recipes this month, and just try to get through it.

I actually made Ham & Celery Munch a couple of evenings ago, and it wasn't too bad. Just celery, onions, ham and cheese on a ricecake, microwaved until the cheese had melted. I liked the melted, and its certainty. Usually Janet's instructions include the direction "until melting." I usually like that, too. Generally being a fan of shades of gray, and of the kinds of literature classes in which a major focus is on the in-between spaces, the hyphen, the idea of cooking until melting really appealed to me in a romantic sort of way. Who's to say exactly where that is, that place between not being melted at all and definitely being melted for sure? It's so obviously and refreshingly subjective. But February's the kind of month in which I don't want to think about much. I just want to play video games and watch bad tv until the sun comes out. So melted was a small relief.

As for the actual meal - Well, I'm really indifferent to celery. Why do people eat celery? I thought it was just for putting in ceasars. Celery's a stupid, boring, tasteless vegetable. Not at all offensive, just not at all exciting, either. And as for the onions, I have the same criticism I had about the mushrooms last week - these are really great vegetables when they're cooked, as opposed to just being warmed up in a microwave. Can't go wrong with cheese or ham, though. (The ham was cooked!) So it worked out alright.

#11 - Mango Pizza

Oh Janet, DON'T PUT THE MANGO IN THE MICROWAVE! For the love of god, mangoes have done the exact opposite of anything that would make them deserving of this fate. They're so tasty and juicy and fresh. I just can't understand you, Janet.

So yeah, this is mango and mushrooms and "pizza spices" and bacon bits and mozzarella cheese, on a ricecake, heated "for 40-60 seconds or until cheese is bubbling and melting."

First of all, mozzarella cheese is stupid. It's my least favourite of all the cheeses, though I guess there must be good kinds, because it always tastes just fine on pizza I don't make myself. Whenever I use mozzarella cheese myself, I find it really flavourless. Maybe that's where the pizza spices are supposed to be useful.

So, like, what are "pizza spices?" I used Italian seasoning and basil and thyme and I don't think I made it taste right. And what's up with the no pizza sauce? I want to say I think pizza sauce would have made this better, but I'm not actually certain this is true, considering the soggy factor.

The mushrooms, of course, were raw. A little warm, but raw, and why would anyone eat raw mushrooms when they could eat ones that have been cooked?

Bacon bits were okay. Ever since I stopped being a vegetarian a few months ago, I have fallen in love with bacon, and even the artificial bacon flavouring is a little bit exciting.

But the mango slices were by far the best part. I would take a bite and think about how much the mango pizza tasted like cardboard, when suddenly I'd actually taste the mango, and I can't tell you happy this made my taste buds.

I think, and I may be wrong, but I think this might be the only recipe involving a microwave that I actually finished. So if being able to force an entire meal down my throat makes a ricecake recipe a success, then this one's a winner!